scripture and prayer reflection
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Lyrics
Who are You God
‘Cause You are turning out to be
So much different than I imagined
And where are you God
Cause I am finding life to be
So much harder than I had planned
Know that I am afraid
To ask these questions
But You know they are there
And if you know my heart
The way that I believe you do
You know that I believe in You
But still I have these questions
Like “How could you God?
How could You be so good and strong
And make a world that can be so painful?”
And “Where were you God?”
I know you had to be right there
I know you never turn your head
You know that I'm confused
By all this mystery
You know I get afraid
But if you know my heart
As completely as I trust you do
Oh you know that I am trusting you
So is it true
That for every tear I cry
You cry a thousand more
Cause you weep with those that weep
And are you, just holding yourself back
From crushing all the pain and evil in this world
For reasons we just can't understand for now
But isn't there a day of redemption coming
Redemption is coming
Quickly Lord, come quickly
Lord, come quickly
So who am I God
That you would raise me from the dust
To breathe your life and your love into me
You know that I believe
Mark 9:14-24
14 And when they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them, and scribes arguing with them. 15 And immediately all the crowd, when they saw him, were greatly amazed and ran up to him and greeted him. 16 And he asked them, “What are you arguing about with them?”
17 And someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. 18 And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able.”
19 And he answered them, “O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me.” 20 And they brought the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. 21 And Jesus asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?”
And he said, “From childhood. 22 And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”
23 And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”
Reflection
Questions can be uncomfortable, especially when it comes to God and things within the religious realm of life. Sometimes we equate asking questions with giving in to doubt, especially questions that don’t have obvious, immediately apparent answers. And questions that come with emotionally charged baggage can feel even more taboo in church circles.
The questions in this song are not born out of idle curiosity or detached, intellectual wondering. This song is a part of an album that Steven Curtis Chapman wrote in the wake of his young daughter’s death, after his teenage son accidentally hit her with his car in the driveway of their family home. The pain and grief of such a loss is incomprehensible, and provides the context for his questions, a window into the immense significance they bear. When questions like this hold such grief and pain, they can be terrifying. And yet, he here holds the same line as another grieving and frightened father, crying out, “I believe, help me in my unbelief!”
Chapman recognizes and highlights an important reality — God knows we have these questions whether we ask them or not. He is not fooled by our silence, as though our pretending everything is fine could keep Him at arms length, none the wiser. He is also not intimidated by questions that seem to have no answers that feel satisfying enough for our hearts. He already knows the answers to what we’re asking, and while for countless reasons He may not always let us in on the hows and whys, our questions do not scare Him the way that they scare us at times.
The truth is that we do not need to be afraid to ask the questions we hold in our hearts, even those that feel as though they reveal a lack of faith. Refusing to ask questions out of fear accomplishes nothing, and only keeps us running away from engaging with God in reality. God does not desire our pretense; He desires us, in all of our messiness. He knows more of the mess than we do, even, and yet He is strong enough to bear it and to love us regardless. So if He already knows they are lurking in our hearts and they cannot diminish His love, we might as well bring them out to talk over together with Him. Wrestling with questions and hanging onto truth can feel much more precarious than we’d like, but we must continue to entrust ourselves to the One who loves relentlessly and is sovereignly in control.
Take some time to think about your own life. What questions have been frightening to really wrestle with? What is it that makes it hard to ask that? What is it like to voice that question to God? What comes up in you if you don’t find an answer immediately? Why is that? If you are currently wrestling with significant questions, ask the Holy Spirit for help, using the cry of the father who came to Jesus, “I believe, help me in my unbelief!” Talk with God about what comes up.