Lord, From Sorrows Deep I Call - Matt Boswell, Matt Papa

scripture and prayer reflection

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Lyrics

Lord, from sorrows deep I call

When my hope is shaken

Torn and ruined from the fall

Hear my desperation

For so long I've pled and prayed

God, come to my rescue

Even so the thorn remains

Still my heart will praise You

Storms within my troubled soul

Questions without answers

On my faith these billows roll

God, be now my shelter

Why are you cast down, my soul?

Hope in Him who saves you

When the fires have all grown cold

Cause this heart to praise You

And oh my soul, put your hope in God

My help, my Rock, I will praise Him

Sing, oh sing through the raging storm

You're still my God, my salvation

Should my life be torn from me

Every worldly pleasure

When all I possess is grief

God, be then my treasure

Be my vision in the night

Be my hope and refuge

‘Til my faith is turned to sight

Lord, my heart will praise You

And oh my soul, put your hope in God

My help, my Rock, I will praise Him

Sing, oh sing through the raging storm

You're still my God, my salvation

Habakkuk 3:17-18

17 Though the fig tree should not blossom,

nor fruit be on the vines,

the produce of the olive fail

and the fields yield no food,

the flock be cut off from the fold

and there be no herd in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord;

I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

2 Corinthians 12:7b-10

7b A thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Psalm 42:11

11 Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation and my God.

Reflection

Staying power — the ability to stick with something even through adversity — is not often something we enjoy exercising. It takes work, and it goes against our own inclinations to hide or escape from difficulty. In an era in which our feelings are considered everything, it is distinctly countercultural to suggest that we go against what our feelings are pulling us to choose.

It can be easy to become discouraged as we live in a world where we experience the continuing effects of sin and brokenness. We desire the growth that is supposed to come from difficulty (Rom 5:3-5), but we’d like to opt out of the hard part. As more and more things in their lives are stripped away, I’ve heard several people say something like “I wonder, if this is what life is going to look like, what’s even the point of following Jesus?”

But this despairing question highlights what we have really been serving — good feelings, a happy and successful life, peoples’ good opinions, etc. It turns out we have been following Him because we were expecting Him to hold up His end in some kind of deal — we serve Him, and in exchange He gives us the things that we want. At the heart of it, we don’t really want Him. We just want the stuff He’s “supposed to” give us, and we’ll take Him into the bargain.

And this is one of the painful blessings of suffering — it seeks out these realities that have been quietly living unnoticed in our hearts all along, and brings them to the surface so we can see them for what they truly are. It provides us with the opportunity to reorient our heart not to God’s gifts, but to God. He is worth following even if He gives me nothing. Even if my life is a nightmare. Even if I never recover from the weight of grief or injury or poor choices or failure in this life. But it is easy to think we’re following God for His own sake when our life is full of blessing. The real test comes when our life is empty and broken, and He is all we have.

There is something beautiful and powerful when we exercise staying power — when we choose to continue to follow Christ, in spite of our disappointment, our grief or anger or fear, our unfulfilled longings. C. S. Lewis captures this in his book, The Screwtape Letters, an imaginative portrayal of a senior devil writing to his nephew:

“Be not deceived, Wormwood, our cause is never more in jeopardy than when a human, no longer desiring but still intending to do [God’s] will, looks round upon a universe in which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.”

In such circumstances, there is a possibility for a new kind of love to grow in us. We live so much of our lives loving God and others selfishly, for what we get out of the deal. But when I lay down my will and die to myself — and my own feelings and inclinations — I become like Jesus. He laid down His own will, allowed Himself to be forsaken, and still obeyed to the point of death for our sake. This kind of self-sacrifice is a different love than that to which we are used, and yet it is also that to which we are called, as a part of our calling to become conformed to the image of the Son (Rom 8:29).

Take some time to reflect on your own life. What are the things that you tend to expect God to give you? What feelings come up when He doesn’t? If God were all you had, would He be enough? Is getting Him enough to warrant obedience even when you feel weighed down with pain and brokenness? When you feel forsaken? Talk with God about what comes up.