scripture and prayer reflection
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Lyrics
I have many questions for you
My mouth is so full I cannot chew
Are you listening, are you listening?
My friends are hurting, they are hurting
It's not black or white, it’s in between
The colors of a storm are most fitting
Is there an answer in the silence?
Are we asking the wrong question?
How ignorant, man, to simply think
We can control a storm with pen and ink
If I could for you, I would write
To make the darkest parts give us life
It's not black or white, it’s in between
The colors of a storm are most fitting
Is there an answer in the silence?
Are we asking the wrong question?
Have we given orders to the morning?
Or told the dawn its place to be?
Can we bind the chains of Pleiades?
Or command the sea, command the sea?
Who are we that you are mindful of us?
Who are we that you are mindful of us?
Guess that’s the part we just have to try and trust
Habakkuk 1:2-4
2 O Lord, how long shall I cry for help,
and you will not hear?
Or cry to you “Violence!”
and you will not save?
3 Why do you make me see iniquity,
and why do you idly look at wrong?
Destruction and violence are before me;
strife and contention arise.
4 So the law is paralyzed,
and justice never goes forth.
For the wicked surround the righteous;
so justice goes forth perverted.
Job 38:4-7, 12-15, 22-24, 31-33
4 “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
5 Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
6 On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
7 when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?
12 “Have you commanded the morning since your days began,
and caused the dawn to know its place,
13 that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth,
and the wicked be shaken out of it?
14 It is changed like clay under the seal,
and its features stand out like a garment.
15 From the wicked their light is withheld,
and their uplifted arm is broken.
22 “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow,
or have you seen the storehouses of the hail,
23 which I have reserved for the time of trouble,
for the day of battle and war?
24 What is the way to the place where the light is distributed,
or where the east wind is scattered upon the earth?
31 “Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades
or loose the cords of Orion?
32 Can you lead forth the Mazzaroth in their season,
or can you guide the Bear with its children?
33 Do you know the ordinances of the heavens?
Can you establish their rule on the earth?”
Psalm 8:3-4
3 When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him?
Reflection
Mindful is a song full of wrestling, weakness, and helplessness. It begins with so many questions for God about the pain and brokenness of the world that it’s hard to even choose which question to ask first. Depending on the season of life, some of us may currently find ourselves in this place, others may recognize this place from previous seasons of life, and still others may presently be unfamiliar with it, but will find themselves there in the future. It may not even be our own pain that we are wrestling through that brings us to our knees before God, but the pain of those we love. Living in a broken and fallen world inevitably brings deep pain, grief, and sadness into our lives one way or another, and being a child of God does not exclude us from this reality.
In difficulty it can be tempting to allow ourselves to give in to the feeling that God is not with us anymore, or at least is aloof and uncaring. Surely if God cared, He wouldn’t let this happen, we think. Where is He? There are at times things that God in His sovereignty allows into our lives that are excruciatingly painful. Habakkuk was forced to watch as his nation fell apart, his people refusing to turn to the only thing that could save them — their God. Job’s life was turned upside down as all of the blessings he had enjoyed were systematically stripped away from him, with no clear reason why any of it was happening. There was not an ounce of control that either had over their situation.
While being a beloved child of God doesn’t exempt us from pain, it does, however, give us somewhere to turn. Just as Habakkuk cries out to the Lord, and just as Job finally turns to inquire of God rather than continuing to defend himself against his neighbors’ accusations, this song is orienting the despair of this season of pain and sorrow and questions to God Himself.
The song begins with questions but, as with the story of Job, turns to the humility of recognizing that God owes us no explanations. Humility starts with realizing that though crying out to the Lord is not a bad thing, we may be asking the wrong questions. At times He provides no answers to why we are experiencing what we are, even in retrospect. Though He is always in the business of redeeming pain, He does not always let us know why He allows different griefs or losses into our lives in the first place. If only it was always sure that we could easily see how, “the darkest parts give us life”. In moments there is clarity. At other times, things remain murky.
However, as the songwriter’s reflections on pieces of God’s response to Job reveal, we are not in charge and we do not have the full picture. While it’s tempting to believe we know best how things should be run, we truly don’t. If God has sovereignly allowed circumstances into our lives, we can be sure that He will make use of them to accomplish His plan — a plan that Romans 8 assures us is ultimately for our good and the good of His people. In moments where there is no clarity as to the why, perhaps the why is less important than the Who. Who is it who is asking us to embrace the path He has laid for us? Does He have the right to ask this of us?
Yes.
And that leads to the conclusion of the song, echoing the observations of the Psalmist - who are we that God is mindful of us in the first place? The repeated question hammers home the wonder of this question. Even as the song concludes, the songwriter holds the tension between the wonder that such a thing could be possible, and the wrestling doubts that make it difficult to trust in that reality, even when we know it to be true.
Take time to sit with God in the midst of past or current pains or grief. Has there been clarity in how God used that in you and others?
If so, celebrate that work, holding celebration alongside the pain that it cost to accomplish this.
If not, may this song strengthen you to bear the murky difficulty of turning to the Father in trust, even if He does not give you the why.