scripture and prayer reflection
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Lyrics
I'm Mary and I'm Martha all at the same time
I'm sitting at His feet and yet I'm dying to be recognized
I am a picture of contentment and I am dissatisfied
Why is it easy to work but hard to rest sometimes
Sometimes, sometimes
I'm restless, and I rustle like a thousand tall trees
I'm twisting and I'm turning in an endless daydream
You wrestle me at night and I wake in search of You
But try as I might, I just can't catch You
But I want to, 'cause I need You, yeah I need You
I can't catch You, but I want to
How long, how long until I'm home
‘Cause I'm so tired, so tired of running
How long until You come for me
‘Cause I'm so tired, so tired of running
How long, how long until I'm home
‘Cause I'm so tired, so tired of running
How long until You come for me
‘Cause I'm so tired, so tired of running
Yeah, I'm so tired, so tired of running
I'm so tired, so tired of running
Luke 10:38-42
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Psalm 131:1-3
1 My heart is not proud, Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
2 But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.
3 Israel, put your hope in the Lord
both now and forevermore.
Reflection
Rest isn’t just about not doing things. I can watch 8 hours of TV, lounging on the couch and ostensibly doing almost nothing, and still come out the other side feeling unrested — and almost certainly with a headache. New parents often find there is no time to stop doing, as they are now responsible to care for a very needy, very dependent, very tiny human being. The circumstances of their lives do not permit a time-out on most days. So what does rest look like in such seasons?
True rest involves a withness — being with our Creator. St. Augustine described our hearts as restless until they return to God. The reason Mary has chosen the better part is not that she’s decided to take a break. It’s that she’s chosen to sit at Jesus’ feet and be with Him. Martha hasn’t chosen poorly because she’s actively doing things, it’s that her focus is so centered on filling the role of a good hostess that she loses track of being with Jesus.
There are times when our life circumstances preclude slowing down. But there is still the possibility of withness, in small moments throughout the day — as we are feeding a newborn, as we are frustrated because we just stepped on another lego that was left out on the floor, as the massive deadline at work or school approaches and we’re down to the wire to finish. Some tasks do need to get done, but what would it look like to do those tasks with God? With an awareness of His presence with us, dialoguing about it with Him along the way?
There are other times when rest calls for slowing down and pausing. There are tasks we sometimes feel are absolutely necessary that aren’t really as important as we think they are, and we allow them to drive our lives in ways that they shouldn’t. There are also times when we fill our lives with unnecessary busyness in order to avoid slowing down.
I often feel the tension described in this song between wanting rest and avoiding rest in my own life. I want to slow down to be with God, and I don’t want to slow down. I long for rest, but I’m scared of the boredom that might come with it. What if I slow down to try to be with God and it doesn’t feel like it’s “supposed to”? What if I get bored? Shouldn’t I not feel bored if I’m with God? I’m supposed to feel love, awe, excitement, __________. What if I’m somehow doing it wrong and it ends up just being a waste of time? I see the potential good that it could do in and for me and want that, but experience a sort of restlessness in sitting down or pausing.
But what if boredom is okay? What if experiencing it is a part of what God is doing in our hearts as we continue to press into engaging with Him? What if it’s an uncomfortable but necessary part of how He’s reshaping our hearts to be like His? Time with Him is not a waste, even if we don’t “accomplish” anything. The Holy Spirit is always at work, though sometimes in subtle ways that are hard to discern in the moment.
There is a sense in which we will not find our hearts’ true rest until we reach Heaven and are with our Creator. There is a longing that will not be satisfied until we reach our true home. And yet, we can get glimpses of this home when we slow down enough to be with the One who is our home. It may not always feel like a watershed moment or like anything particularly amazing has happened. But each is an opportunity to be with our heavenly Father, brother, lover, friend, walking through the highs, lows, and mundane moments of life together.
Take some time to reflect on your own life.
If your life circumstances eliminate the possibility of slowing down right now: What should rest look like in small moments throughout your day? Are there things that are taking a higher priority in your life than they should be that could shift in order to create space for more time to slow down? Talk with God about what comes up.
If your life circumstances don’t automatically eliminate the possibility of slowing down: What makes it hard to slow down and focus on being with God? Consider planning a time into this next week to sit and be still with Him, without trying to accomplish anything. Talk with Him about whatever comes up.