scripture and prayer reflection
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Lyrics
If to Heaven's heights I fly
You are still beside me
Or in death's dark shadows lie
You will stay close by me
If I flee on morning wings
Far across the gray sea
Even there your hand will lead
Your right hand will guide me
Psalm 139:7-12
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
Romans 8:26
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
Reflection
Grief can be a very isolating experience. I can think of times in my own life in which grief felt particularly heavy, in part because I felt unable to be with others in it — perhaps especially with those who were also bearing the weight of that same grief themselves. I feared allowing myself to feel it when alone, because the impotence of being unable to do anything about it was crushing. But I also dreaded entering into the subject with others in my family because they were also suffocating under the weight of it. There was just suddenly a hole in our lives, and nothing could bring back what had been lost.
But running from grief didn’t actually resolve it. I tried to short cut to get to where I thought I was supposed to be as a “good Christian” and ended up burying it instead. It wasn’t until almost a year later that I dug it up enough to feel the anger, the hurt, the loss, and to finally talk about it again with God. I finally allowed myself to enter into that space of grief with Him, and found Him waiting for me there.
There is a comfort in knowing that when all we have is raw emotions that are difficult to even put into words — when no one else could possibly understand because we can’t even understand — God knows and fully comprehends to the very depths what we are experiencing, and He cares. The Holy Spirit is our companion in all things, including in seasons of grief inexpressible. This companioning does not remove grief — as this song expresses in its use of heavy, melancholic cello and a minor, somber tone — but it bears it with us. He walks with us along that bleak path, promising to always be near. No matter what we are experiencing, we can know that He is with us. We are never abandoned.
Take some time to reflect on your own life. Where have you seen God walk with you through difficult seasons? What is it like to know that even what is inexpressible in your experience is known and understood by Him? Talk with Him about what comes up.